If I ruled the world and had the superpower to change things in reality just by imagining it, that would be pretty cool. I would invent new technologies yet unheard of. I would build futuristic new cities overnight. In doing all of this my ultimate goal would be to provide everyone with a better standard of living.

But even if this were reality and I did indeed have these superpowers, I would still face an uphill battle. My superpower would not include the ability to change peoples minds. Even if it did it would be a power I would resist using. It's no fun to rule a world where everyone agrees with you.

I've dreamed of huge buildings that reach two or three miles into the sky and a mile by mile square. An entire city in just one building among many. Inside each level would be ample green space, great public facilities and low cost living. Even those with the weakest of budgets could afford an apartment with over two thousand square feet of living space with absolutely modern bathrooms and kitchens.

It's a Utopian dream. But in thinking about it more I realize those with the weakest budgets that I'm talking about are good and decent people who want more from life but just don't have the means to support it. These are poor people with manners and certain degree of education. Really I'm talking about myself and those like me right now.

But the reality is that there are a lot of poor people who are also trashy people. The reason they are poor is because they're trashy. Because they were raised by trashy people who never put much focus on education and manners.

When I think about how the world really is, I begin to believe that it's perfect. It all makes sense. Those people who speak intelligently and carry a certain degree manners and motivation can make something of themselves. At least in the United States. They may not become millionaires, but they can at least increase their station in life and live in clean safe environments. But those that are trashy rarely will.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that only poor people can be trashy. I think Paris Hilton is a perfect example to the contrary. There is definitely a difference between being poor and being trashy. It just so happens that many trashy people also happen to be poor.

I see some of these young white ghetto guys walking around on the street with their oversized coats and their baseball caps turned to the side. Just from that first glance I can tell you that most of these guys will never make it further in life then they already are. That is unless they change their ways.

If any of these types of people moved into my Utopian city buildings they would reduce their living space down to their mentality. The result is their environment would not be as clean and probably filled with more violence then other areas. As much as I would have fought to rid such a city building of it, I would find that in fact I would have ghettos in certain areas. Because ghettos are not really about being poor, they are a state of mind. A state of mind that affects the environment around it. I know this because I've seen neighborhoods that are obviously filled with people who are lower in income. But take pride in what they do have. They keep their streets and their homes clean. They have a certain degree of manners and well being. Unfortunately so many of such neighborhood these days have been infested by trashy people because of the low cost of entry. The result is that it brings the overall environment down and those that are just poor and not trashy end up trapped in such bad environments having to deal with trashy neighbors.

              

So you know how it happens. You're in the grocery store and you've already gotten your things and you're headed to the front. That's when you spot the cute 18 year old cashier who happens to be ringing up another cute 18 year old girl. So you jump in that line completely oblivious to everything else. You're not going to hit on the cashier, you just want her to wait on you. Maybe because you're entire life the cute girls like that never paid any attention to you, or maybe you just feel like it.

She's almost done with the girl in front of you and you're next up, that's when you suddenly notice the fat old snaggle toothed lady in the next lane with the six foot wide ass waving you over because she's open. For a brief second you ignore her. Then she waves you over again and it's obvious to everyone you've noticed her. What the hell do you do? For fuck sake I'm not getting out of this line just so the pervert guy behind me can get waited on by this cute little cashier while I go deal with Brunhilde over there. Fuck that! I was here first. I didn't come this far and this close just to be swept away by miss fat ass over there. It's not even about the god damn kool-aid, peanut butter and ramen noodles anymore! It's about the principle of it. But what do you do?

If you tell the lady you're fine where you're at you've just given away your position. Now she and the cute little cashier know what you're up to. Fuck! What do you do! What do you do! Think quick. So you turn to the old wretch and you say "I need a pack of cigarettes" to which the old bitch begins to flirt with you and say "no you're not old enough" until you finally give her a look that says "yes I am, get me a god damn pack of cigarettes". She begins to move her fat ass and you know it's going to take her 45 minutes to get over there by which time the girl in front of you has paid and the cute little cashier turns to you not knowing if you're staying or going and you say "ring me up, I guess she's getting me a pack of cigarettes." Cute cashier smiles and begins to ring you up. Problem solved. Victory! Go home, you're a winner!    

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4:42AM
It's late and I'm at my girlfriends. She's asleep behind me on the bed in only her panties and I sit here naked at her computer, unable to sleep. To be honest the reason I'm naked has nothing to do with sex. I have a fever and was trying to stay cool. I've been sick all weekend. It seems to be a curse of mine. I get paid a couple days before, I don't have my son this weekend and it's sweetest day. Sounds like a perfect weekend to go out and have some fun with my girl. But then I get sick, which ruins the weekend. Figures.

I just want another weekend like this, minus the sickness. Money in my pocket, no kids, a whole few days to just have a blast. I so miss that. I'm starting to think that life is against me. Whenever I seem to get a head a little bit, something pops up that brings me back down.

Oh well, I'm not going to go into it. Too much to list at this point and no one wants to read about somebody being sick and depressed right now.